Funny Profiles For Dating Sites

If you’ve been online dating for any amount of time, you’ve seen bad profiles. They’re either sparse, copied from someone more clever, use The Office as a character trait, or are completely blank. Then, you come across the perfect profile. It might be five words, three paragraphs, or a hilarious photo, but either way you’re in stitches. We’ve scoured the internet (and the best dating apps) to pull together a list of some of the funniest dating profiles.

1. The Truth

You’re smart. This ain’t your first rodeo. And You’re not about to fall for the preposterous claims made by so many of the profiles on this site. So here’s a refreshing perspective—the truth.

I pay my mortgage. I wear socks that match. I’m an honest man, with a decent career and strong values. So While I could regale you with stories of my trips to Paris or how I resemble Ryan Gosling…I know that good communication’s a foundation for every relationship. So if we’re on the same wavelength, read on…

2. Exaggeration

I am a rocket scientist. I’ve appeared on the cover of GQ—twice. And after mastering Italian, I became an international super spy. Right now, I’m yachting my way across the Caribbean, stealing top-secret information, and sipping mai tais…shaken, not stirred.

1. Excellent, articulate, FUNNY, and witty writers. These guys are all smart and really funny! But as far as dating profiles go.and yes these are all great profiles.the above profiles are a bit TOO entertaining. Are these guys “on the go” like this all the time? 24/7 comedy sessions?
2. Well you obviously know that not everything is from buzz feed (chivettes, bored at work, find her, etc.) so you're just being a sarcastic twat. Somethings on the internet get shown on multiple websites, people that complain about that are dicks. Normal people don't care what site posted a goofy dating profile pic first.

You can get away with more exaggerated humor and funny/cocky attitude on Tinder than you can on other apps and dating sites. So this is your chance to get creative, show some personality and have a little fun. Here is a funny online dating profile example for men that really works: #1: “Humorous, Over-The-Top” Profile for Tinder.

…Okay, fine. I exaggerated *just* a smidge. But I do like a good mai tai and I got a B+ in my 5th grade science class.

3. Blurbs

“He’s a beast…in the kitchen” – Food & Wine

“Our go-to guy for fashion advice” – GQ

“I wish he was my personal trainer.” – The Hulk

“God made him so firemen would have a hero” – every fireman ever

“I’m so glad she swiped right” – your mom

What else do you need to know?

4. J/K!

Married with a baby on the way. Prefer the term “collector” to “hoarder.” Bonus points if you can look after my gerbil collection.

And: J/K! Single consultant who loves surfing. Into daily exercise so I don’t feel guilty when I grab ice cream.

Your turn…Do you prefer swimming, dancing, or a 24-hour Netflix marathon?

5. A Few of My Favorite Things

I like…

The Frito smell of dog paws.

When I randomly decide to call an old friend and they say “I was just thinking about you!”

The way little kids get grumpy and confused when they’re tired.

That moment I get that Bumble BOOM! Message, and know someone I liked is into me too.

6. Goblin

Passionate goblin with 10+ years of experience, seeking to increase profitability for National Goblin Association. At — Goblin headquarters, slashed costs by 32% in 6 months by implementing Bloodletting training across all departments. Cut stockroom waste by 65% with new garbage binging techniques. Skilled in bone cleaning, whispering while in the dark, and proficient in Microsoft office.

7. The Girl You Can Take Home to Your Family

I’m the kinda girl you can take home to your family. I will then get closer to them than you are and we’ll slowly phase you out.

8. Alpha Male

I hope you like alpha males because I’m your guy. That’s right, I’m the whole package. I’ll defend your honor in public, won’t take shit from waiters, and I’ll even get you pregnant, leave, and then come back to eat the child.

9. Christmas Tree

My brother once put me through a Christmas tree wrapping machine then my parents put me in the boot for the ride home.

10. Best Travel Story

I was in New Orleans when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Long story short, my nipple may or may not have been pierced.

11. Not Down to Earth

I’m not down to earth at al. If you don’t reply to my text I will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o’clock in the morning crying and trying to break in. I hate drinking tea and doing craft. I hate bicycles, the beach, sunshine, and parks. And Cider, I hate Cider.

12. Definitely Not a Murderer

My self-summary
I’m a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder. I’m looking for love, companionship, or just that one lovely evening (and rest assured that that one lovely evening will absolutely end with you back at your house, safe, and sound!) Let me take you into my magical world of not murdering anyone, ever, for any reason.

What I’m doing with my life
I’ll tell you this right up front: Certainly not murdering ANYONE, least of all you! Beyond that, mostly digging.

13. A Terrible Liar

My self-summary
Here are the quick and dirty facts so you can get back to clicking through my photos: I’m a terrible liar and an excellent +1. You can usually find me managing my investments, hitting the gym, or catching up with a friend over cocktails and tapas. And I’m incredibly judgemental…when it comes to T-bone steaks. Otherwise, I’m pretty easygoing. 😉

What I’m doing with my life
When I’m not in the ER, you can often find me visiting the kind of far flung destination that requires a passport. Remote locations like Santiago or Zanzibar have always spoken to me. But usually it’s in Spanish or Swahili…so I can’t understand a word they’re saying.

14. The Best Thing on the Internet

About Me

Ladies, your time has come. I’m serious – stop reading and message me right away, because I am the best thing that could ever happen to you on the internet. Better than gym selfies. Better than 14 Facebook likes. And even better than kitten GIFs. Okay, okay, maybe not better than those. Because what can top that?

If we’re being honest, I’m probably not really the “best thing” ever. I have falws too. First of all, I don’t have Jon Snow’s flowing locks. I sometimes wash my lights with my darks. And I never ask for directions – ever.

Maybe you can see past that thought? 😉

As for my career… Well, I got my first taste of what it means to be an entrepreneur when I was a kid, selling 25 cent cups of lemonade and giving away free extra-salty potato chips. I’ve since moved up to buying and selling Internet comapnies, but I still love Lay’s potato chips.

I’m a non-apologetic big city dweller at heart, but that doesn’t stop me from rounding up friends on a beautiful weekend and hitting the ski slopes, or grabbing my mountain bike for some trail riding. And I’m always thinking about my next trip… I hear good things about New Zealand.

As for the woman I’d like to meet… Your friends would describe you as “intelligent,” “ambitious,” and “kleptomaniacal”… Okay, maybe not the last one. And while I love potatoes in most of their forms, “couch potato” isn’t one of them. Physical fitness is important to you, as it is to me. And while you don’t have to host your own NatGeo show, having a few awesome travel stories wouldn’t hurt.

15. Cute and Smart

Respiratory Therapy Student

Cute enough to take your breath away, smart enough to bring it back.

16. Mat

Funny Profiles For Dating Sites Women

I’m just hoping you don’t walk all over me 😉

17. Forever Single

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Will I be single all my life

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Funny Profiles For Dating Sites

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Can’t get the best suitors in the online dating world? Maybe you need to re-work on your profile headline. Go for some funniest headlines for a change.

I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he?
– Kristin Davis

Back in the singles market? Welcome! Well, yeah… to be a part of the dating sites, is like selling yourself. It uses the rule of advertising, minus the ‘S’. The rule is AIDA = Awareness, Interest, Desire and Actions. A good dating profile precisely works like the aforementioned rule. It creates an awareness about you amongst the seekers, generates interest amongst those who understand it, arouses a desire amongst the ones who like it, and finally leads to an action! Its first part, namely the headline, serves the purpose of seeking attention or creating awareness. Obviously, you need to have a funny or a catchy headline.

Funny Dating Headlines

Making someone laugh is the trickiest job in the world. Thus, a good sense of humor is always appreciated for its worth. Here are a few examples of dating profile headings that you can use to make your page stand out from the rest!

Willing to lie about how we met!
Looking for Mr. Right Now!
Quality men only!
Sorry, but you’ll have to do more than that to impress me.

Romantic men are very few. If you are one of the few, contact me now!
We all know the Gods are crazy, but is there anywhere crazier than that to take on a challenge like me?

Sarcastic Dating Headlines

Many people find sarcasm cute, just as we like Chandler Bing for his witty sarcastic jokes. So, here are a few dating headlines dripping with sarcasm, just for your profile.

You must be over 5′ 10″ to read this profile.
How many more frogs do I have to kiss to find my prince?
Want to meet a guy whose IQ is bigger than his shoe size?

Finding a good man is like nailing Jello to a tree!
Can you keep up?
Looking for some sexy and stable. Is that too much to ask for?
I am interested, if you are interested.

Matter-of-Fact Dating Headlines

Sometimes, reading plain facts are good enough. They say only what is required and seem simple to understand. So without further ado, take a look at some matter-of-fact dating headlines.

Just looking for a monsoon fling. No strings attached.
Men looking for sex need not apply.
Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!
Is there someone out there for me?

Will think of dating you, if I like you.
Seeking a friend who comes with benefits!
Could enjoy the company of someone who can make a good conversation!

Catchy Dating Headlines

A dating profile has to be catchy enough to make an impact on its reader. Pick your favorite from these attention-getting headlines, for your profile.

Funny Profiles For Dating Sites Examples

Some will, some won’t, some do, some don’t. I might!
If I could arrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together!
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
The magician is waiting for assistant to perform the greatest trick of all time!

Bold Dating Headlines

Get all your oomph out there to grab all the attention for your dating profile. Be a little bold and a bit brave to find what your seek!

Coffee, Chocolate, and Men – some things are just better rich.
Cute?…. Yes!! Sexy?…. Yes!! Smart?…. Yes!! Rich?…. Well 3 of 4 is a good start!
We make a perfect couple: I’ve got the brains and you’ve got the body.
I can promise you something special.
If FUN was a MUST, then I must be the one you’re looking for.
New girl on the block needs a tour guide.
Boy toy seeks a play date.

Things to Rememeber

Writing a good dating profile headline is as important as writing a good dating profile. It is very important to keep in mind the language, which must be conversational. This means, the reader must be able to sense the tone of the sentence and understand it quickly. Avoid making cryptic references, as it only leads to confusion, and the purpose gets lost in translation. The whole idea of having a catchy headline is to seek attention and get users clicking in.

The headline shouldn’t be provocative either. With something like ‘Looking for sex’, you make yourself seem like a sex-crazed lunatic. This way, your chances of networking will also become bleak. Have a headline which goes with your profile and sums up its gist in a sentence or two. The main characteristic of the aforementioned sample dating headlines, is simplicity. The simpler the headline, the simpler it is to understand it.

Another factor you may want to note is that it should have no spelling mistakes. With a spelling mistake such as ‘can’ becomes ‘can’t’, the meaning of the headline can change for worse. Thus, use affirmative and positive headlines to make your profile an attractive one.