Best Sober Dating App
Posted : admin On 5/25/2022If online dating gives you the hankering for a stiff drink, you’re not alone. It’s only normal to feel nervous. Who wouldn’t feel nervous while advertising their mating potential on a virtual billboard that strangers will rate? (Make that a double scotch, please.)
Then there’s the assumption that drinking and dating need one another. It seems like a given that any first date will consist of drinks at the bar, like an unspoken rule of etiquette that nobody breaks.
Quick Navigation Top 10 Best Sober Dating Websites#1: eHarmony#2: EliteSingles#3: Match#4: 12 Step Match#5: Sober Singles Date#6: AA Dating Service#7: Sober Dating Service#8: Sober.ly#9: Zoosk#10: Love in RecoverySober Dating FAQIn Conclusion Recently there has been an influx of sober dating websites for individuals looking for other people undergoing intensive sobriety treatments. 12 Step Match is a dating site for just about anyone in any sort of recovery program. From AA, gambling, narcotics, eating disorders, gaming addicts and a multitude of other types of recovery groups. The profiles on the site all seem to be pretty in depth and offer a good chance to get a feel for potential dating partners.
Sobriety and Online Dating: Common Worries in Recovery
This reality can be intimidating if you’re among the 10 percent of adults in this country who say they’re in recovery from drug or alcohol addiction and for whom drinking is no longer a lifestyle. If you’re in this demographic, you may genuinely wonder whether your sober self will ever date or have sex again. It may also be hard to imagine getting to know someone in a romantic and potentially intimate way without alcohol. Or you may have worries about the how and when of sharing that you’re in recovery, especially when your online profile is a potential date’s first impression of you. The stigma of addiction can be hard to kick.
Such questions are natural and normal to ask when you’re in recovery. (My clients in substance abuse treatment voice many of the same concerns.) And they need to be answered on an individual basis: No single approach to sober online dating will work for everyone. You need to do what is right and comfortable for you.
How to Navigate Online Dating When in Recovery
That said, here are some ideas and tips for how to navigate the online dating world with your recovery and sense of humor intact, starting with the personal profile you create:
Be honest.
In the spirit of 12-step recovery, which emphasizes the importance of self-honesty, aim for truthfulness in how you present yourself. If a questionnaire asks you how much you drink, don’t let fear about what others might think keep you from checking the “Never” box. If someone has an issue with your not drinking, then they clearly aren’t the right person for you—and that’s okay. Similarly, you’ll need to be honest about the fact that you’re in recovery— although that ideally is best left for later and in person.
Describe what you like to do for fun.
Being sober doesn’t equate with being a bore. There are many ways to enjoy oneself that don’t involve alcohol. In fact, when you quit drinking you probably gained some new hobbies, interests, and pursuits in the process. Emphasize what you enjoy doing. Do you like hiking in the outdoors? Cooking? Watching old Seinfeld episodes? Make a list of the things that fill your free time—and that you could see yourself sharing with someone else.
Plan a low-key first date that’s not at the bar.
The goal is getting acquainted and gauging the chemistry. You can do that in a low-key and informal way that doesn’t involve alcohol: a walk in the park or meet-up at a coffee shop, for example. Or, maybe you first connected over a shared interest in bicycling, in which case you might go for a bike ride.
Don’t wait too long to share that you’re in recovery.
If your first date turns into a couple more and you have an interest in a long-term relationship, now may be a good time to share that you’re in recovery. This vulnerability can be scary, but it also can build deeper love, connection, and intimacy. How the other person responds to your self-disclosure will be a great source of insight into your relationship potential.
Plan in advance how you’ll talk about your recovery, and as you plan, aim for self-disclosure that’s “short and sweet.”
If a new dating relationship has legs, there will be plenty of time in the future for all of the more gruesome details. Remember that by the second or third date, you’re still getting to know the other person (as they are you). Try to stick to the essentials and the positive lessons you’ve learned in recovery. If you’re feeling nervous about disclosing your recovery, it’s okay to let the other person know that, too.
Prepare yourself for rejection.
Understand that rejection is part of the online dating process, starting with the person whose profile you ping who doesn’t respond. If someone is going to reject you because of the fact that you don’t drink and are in recovery, it’s less painful to know that earlier on. (It’s also clear they’re not worth your time!) So try to take rejection in stride rather than personally, and as a character-building lesson rather than an opportunity to punish yourself.
Be yourself.
This can be easier said than done, but it’s freeing to remember that in sobriety you are closer to your true self than you ever were when high, drunk or in pursuit of drugs or alcohol. In addition to honesty about your recovery and the things you like to do for fun, “being yourself” involves connecting with what you’re feeling so that you can express these emotions when it’s necessary or appropriate.
Consider sober online dating sites.
For some people, the easiest way to traverse the world of sober online dating may be to register with a site that is explicitly for people in recovery. If you go this route, the biggest challenge may be deciding which site(s) to use, based on a Google search of “sober dating sites” that turns up numerous options.
With these tips in hand, you can rest assured that there are other solutions to the dilemma of sober online dating besides being chaste, lonely and/or single. Finding cyber romance is possible when you’re sober: it may even lead to a match made in heaven.
Anna Ciulla is the Clinical Director at Beach House Center for Recovery, where she is responsible for designing, implementing and supervising the delivery of the latest evidence-based therapies for treating substance use disorders. Anna has a passion for helping clients with substance use and co-occurring disorders achieve successful long-term recovery.
Subscribe to our newsletter
By clicking Submit you agree to Zoosk’s terms of use and privacy policy.
When on the lookout for the best sobriety app for you, there are certain dating features that stand out among the rest.
Living a sober lifestyle is a choice where you do not want to have to explain why to anyone but yourself. Many people inquire further which leaves you scrambling for a story-driven answer, cracking a joke, or turning the mood in a direction you did not originally intend.
If you are wanting to share the same ideals and lifestyle within a relationship, then check what great features a sober dating app can offer. At times, it may be hard to not give in to social pressure and the expectation to “loosen up” with alcohol on a date.
Luckily, the sober curious movement is becoming more widespread with popular date locations for sober singles.
By advocating for yourself in all aspects of your life, including dating, you can stay on track with the life you want to be living. Avoid unnecessary social pressure and step into the possibility to find a match that is just right for you.
- Share A Stellar Bio
What do you want to share with a potential date about yourself? Do you love hiking? Long drives to new locations? Staying in and watching a movie? Whatever you want to share about you, the best feature a dating app should offer is the ability to explain who you are.
The bio section does not have to be limited to a small amount of words, or a form of a haiku to share who you are. If you are looking to make a meaningful connection, then the more space you have to do so, the better!
Writing a bio about yourself is not about who you wish you were, it is about who you are now and how you want to discover life with someone who shares similar interests. Chances are, your bio may line up perfectly with a potential match.
- List Your Interests
Interests are great to have separated from your general dating bio. By listing your interests you can convey what you love doing through simple keywords that stand out to someone looking at your profile.
Sober Online Dating
When it comes to your interests, the sky is the limit. You can list whatever you enjoy during your free time or even the things you love about the work you do. This list has the potential to be a long one, but it might be more helpful to narrow down your top ones.
Lists can range from what,
- Movies you love
- Type of books you enjoy
- Outdoor activities you participate in
- Sports teams you follow
- Places you enjoy visiting
- Things you love about your work
- And what you generally do for fun!
Whatever you love and enjoy, list it among your top interests to connect with other like-minded singles living a sober lifestyle.
- Give Insight To What You Love With Photos
Photos are a great way to showcase who you are and what you love to do. While not every photo feels social media worthy, consider using photos that really share who you are as a person.
If you do not feel you have any good photos, consider asking a friend to help you out. With Loosid, you can feature up to 6 photos of yourself. From photos of you from your last vacation, pictures with friends, or you lounging around during lockdown, share an honest look into your life.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and the best dating apps should let you feature a little insight into how you live your life.
- See Your List of Sober Singles For Matches
A good feature to look for is whether you can see a list of your matches and likes. It helps you look again at a person’s profile to see if they would make a great potential date. From seeing your list, you should also be able to send personal direct messages to connect with sober singles near you.
Seeing your match list also helps you identify what you may be looking for. Are there similarities to the people you have matched with? What do you connect with the most about their profiles?
This helps get to know yourself a little better through understanding what you like and maybe not like so much about a potential match. Either way, a full list to see your beautiful matches gives you the opportunity to keep track of potential dates, and remember to send a direct message when you are available to meet up.
- Quick Access to DMs
Access to your direct messages should not have to be a runaround on any dating app. With notification ability, you can quickly access DMs to reply to matches in a timely manner.
Whether you are messaging on your work break, or tucking in for the evening at home, message accessibility helps you see all your messages in one place. If you are talking to one, two, or more people, you can switch in between messages with ease.
With any dating app, make sure to vet potential dates, and keep yourself safe. If you are uncertain of the messages you are receiving through the app, then the date does not promise to be a good one either.
Keep your head on your shoulders and reply to people that you feel you can make a meaningful connection with.
- Boozeless Guides to Help Find Your Ideal Place For a Date
What is missing among many of the sober dating apps is the ability to find boozeless guides for the ideal date.
From restaurants that offer sober hours, to great hang out places without the need for alcohol, boozeless guides ease the confusion of figuring out where to go on a date.
Within a boozeless guide you can,
- Find local events, such as art, music, and community classes that do not include alcohol
- See travel spots and destinations that will not compromise recovery
- Online events you can attend with a date, even if you are far away
- A list of local restaurants that are sober friendly
There may be some hesitancy due to past experiences when trying to find a place for a date. By trusting the concierge service, like on the Loosid app, you can calm your nerves knowing that you are in a safe location.
Chances are, your date may have had similar social pressures in the past too. It helps to reassure one another that your ideal location for a date still offers a fun time, all without alcohol.
- Access to Sober Events
If you are a lover of live music, art exhibitions, or community events, it may be hard to find a sober event to attend. Finding a match is one thing on a sober dating app, but shouldn’t an app offer you more opportunity for your dream date?
One of the best features for a sober app is to offer insider access to local events. Events can range from local yoga in the park, community centers with free art classes, and live music within a coffee shop.
Within the Loosid app you can search by what city you are located in, or look for a specific event you heard about. With an insider look at what to expect, and whether it is a sober event, you can find great places to enjoy a fantastic first date.
- Live a Sober Lifestyle With Meaningful Connections
Best Sober Dating Sites
Some dating apps out there are not known for meaningful connections. If you are on the road to recovery, chances are you may be looking for someone who shares a sober lifestyle and is looking for more than just one night out.
Through a sober dating app, you can learn more about a person’s journey through their bio and make a meaningful connection right from the start.
Whether someone has chosen to stop drinking because of a lifestyle change, for health benefits, or to live beyond addiction, make a strong connection with a like-minded individual through sober dating.
- Ability to Join the Community
Dating is one thing, but what about being a part of a like-minded community? One of the best features to look out for within a sober dating app is also the ability to connect with sober people locally.
Whether you are a part of a group in your city, or want to share with others the highs and lows of breakups and sober dating, connect with others to help you get through rough nights or long holiday weekends through group boards that support your journey.
- Free Sober Dating
The absolute best feature the best sobriety app can offer is freemium access. No more adding or deleting apps that cost, when you have found the ideal one right from the start.
Heart the people you like and connect with individuals you would love to join for an ideal date. Looking for a sober date has never been easier with the best features a sober dating app can offer.
All created with you in mind to connect with sober singles, experience fun sober events, and find love in your city.
Is There A Sober Dating App
Find professional help in our Treatment & Tele Help Center Guides.
What Is The Best Sober App
Search from over 14,000 Treatment Centers & 3,500 Tele Help Centers to get you the help you need now!
Where do calls go?
Calls to numbers on a specific treatment center listing will be routed to that treatment center. Additional calls will also be forwarded and returned by one of our treatment partners below.
Chapel Hill Medical Detox
All Points North